Basically, those who eavesdrop will believe it, and directly accusing someone face-to-face is hard for the brain to accept, even if it is for their own good. If adults are like this, how much more so are children. What should communication with children look like? If you directly accuse them when they make a mistake, it will make them feel frustrated; even if you speak gently, they can tell you are lecturing them. But if you don't say anything, how will their mistakes be corrected? The best way is for couples to talk, allowing the child to hear. A child's initial learning comes from the stage when they cannot yet speak, which is actually about listening, seeing, and imitating. This method is called observational learning in psychology and is a completely harmless organic fertilizer. You tell your wife that you need to control your phone use because your cervical spine hurts; your wife replies that she also needs to control her weight because she loves sweets too much and needs to limit carbonated drinks, reduce carbohydrates, eat more protein, and increase physical training. You ask your wife if she can take you with her to exercise. She says, of course, she needs to control her exercise. Even more interesting, your child may pretend to watch TV and play with toys nearby, but actually, they are eavesdropping and have heard every word. If your wife says, 'I heard that watching too much TV can harm children's eyes,' you tell her, 'No, our child knows how to control their time.' You see, your child felt a sense of achievement from eavesdropping, do you think he cares about his parents' praise? Of course. And he enjoys the praise behind the scenes. So praising someone should be done behind their back, allowing them to overhear is the best effect. Soon the child may show you, 'Dad, look, I turned off the TV.' You say, 'Great job, kid! I knew you had more self-control than Dad. Dad wants to learn from you. Can you take me to watch TV next time? I want to learn your self-control.' Remember, let your child do things with a sense of achievement, not anxiety. When the motivation for success only comes from anxiety, a proportional relationship between achievement and health damage appears. Finally, couples who argue, have cold wars, or are on the brink of divorce should reflect on themselves quickly: what have you taught your child? Much of a child's learning comes from observational learning, which is the least effective method compared to unconscious absorption and social reference, and it has significant side effects. This is because preaching and accusations directly attack the child's self-esteem and self-worth, triggering psychological defense mechanisms, leading to denial, resistance, and retreat. Eavesdropping, on the other hand, is non-confrontational; information bypasses defenses and directly enters the brain for processing. Through observation and eavesdropping, children feel that they have discovered this themselves and made the decision to do so, rather than being ordered, which gives them a sense of autonomy—this is the core of intrinsic motivation and a very effective way to cultivate intrinsic drive from a young age. The dialogue between couples demonstrates a family atmosphere of cooperative reflection and mutual growth. What the child absorbs is the value of this atmosphere, not just a specific rule. They learn that Mom and Dad can also self-reflect, that things can be negotiated, and that problems can be solved through communication, so they will actively discuss things with you. At this point, if your child does things behind your back and doesn't tell you when they are bullied outside, you understand the reason, right? If you want your child to read, you should pick up a book yourself instead of scrolling on your phone commanding them to read. If you want your child to be polite, you should be gentle and reasonable to family members and waitstaff. If you want your child to excel in socializing, you should actively communicate with strangers when you are out, as your child may not follow what you say, but they will definitely imitate what you do. For things that should be done, pay attention to changing commands into invitations. 'Sweetheart, Mom is going downstairs for a walk, do you want to come?' 'Dad is preparing to fry an egg and needs a helper; are you interested?' Turn work into play, turn commands into invitations, and give respect and choices. The effect is much better than saying, 'Stop playing games, run three laps around the community to lose weight.' Always remember, you are your child's environment, not a strict management system. You can't control them for long; sooner or later, they will grow up. When they decide to leave home and confront you, you will definitely feel powerless and compromise. The relationship between couples is the foundation of a child's learning. Children are copies of their parents; if the copies are wrong, the problem is likely in the original not being clear. Have you taught your child to repair conflicts or to have cold wars and avoid them? Have you taught your child to manage emotions or to vent emotions? Have you taught your child to express love or to confront dissatisfaction with criticism and indifference? The highest realm of education is not to educate intentionally, but to live as the person you want your child to become, creating an environment full of love, respect, and growth, allowing your child to freely observe, imitate, and absorb within it.