Last time I came to Beijing was before the pandemic

Met a group of colleagues and friends
In the end, only one person remained
This time, my biggest impression is
everywhere are signs banning drone flights
Sandstorms swirling in the sky
And a springtime in Beijing that’s more comfortable than I ever imagined
Every time I come, I catch a fever and cold
Last time was because I wandered around Shichahai in the dead of winter
Went to Wangjing for a run in sub-zero temperatures
This time, probably because I ran into too many tourists during holidays
My first time going abroad was also from here
Traveling with my first love and her parents
I still remember her saying
Her dad loved tinkering with Patek Philippe watches the most
Later, I found out
It was from a photo at the Forbidden City entrance
Her dad deliberately angled his watch to show it off
At the airport check-in, I asked if I could check my laptop
Only to be ridiculed by two other friends traveling with my first love
Who were headed to Imperial College
Until boarding, they kept saying
“Can you really check a laptop?”
Just like now, I couldn’t say a word
And I didn’t want to say anything
Now I think I’ve figured it out
People exist based on a sense of superiority through comparison
Like I always have a bias that Beijing accents
carry a kind of sarcastic, confrontational tone
But isn’t that also me?
This deep-seated sense of presence inside me
That’s the real culprit
Everyone has their reasons for speaking
The thing that can be blocked is the mouth
What can’t be blocked is the human heart