Why do New Year's resolutions always fail? Understanding the true nature of personal transformation through Maslow's hierarchy of needs

Every January, millions of people set New Year’s goals. By June, most have already given up. Psychologist Dan Koe, in his latest research, points out that the root cause of failure is not a lack of willpower, but a fundamental misunderstanding of “change” itself. Based on advanced applications of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, true life transformation requires five progressive levels, extending from identity recognition to a complete overhaul of the life system.

Level 1: Identity First, Action Second — Why Self-Discipline Will Never Beat Self-Perception

Most people’s change formula is flawed. They believe that change equals action change, so they make frantic plans and force themselves to persist. But studies show that lasting change comes from a shift in identity.

Imagine a bodybuilder and an ordinary person seeing a pizza. The ordinary person needs “self-discipline” to refuse it, while the bodybuilder cannot even imagine eating such a thing—because it has become part of their identity. The former is fighting against themselves; the latter’s behavior is a natural expression.

Dan Koe calls this the “Fundamental Law”: If you want to live a certain way at your destination, you must first become the kind of person who can live that way. This is not just a slogan but a neurological fact. When identity changes, behavior automatically follows. Those who only change actions without changing identity will ultimately snap back like a rubber band.

Level 2: Unconscious Goals Are the True Culprits — Why Your Efforts Always Backfire

You say you want to lose weight, start a business, or find a partner. But your actions are the opposite. It’s not that you’re not trying hard enough; rather, there’s a hidden unconscious goal working against you.

Psychology calls this “teleology.” Every behavior, including seemingly passive ones, has a purpose. You procrastinate to avoid judgment. You stay in a bad job to maintain a sense of security. You remain in a terrible position to prove stability to those around you. These hidden goals are 100 times more powerful than surface goals.

The key to change is to identify these subconscious goals and then consciously adjust them. If you want success, you must first discover what you’re truly pursuing. Most people never ask this question.

Level 3: The Level of Mindset Determines Your Life Ceiling — Which Stage Are You At?

Maslow’s hierarchy describes a progressive path from physiological needs to self-actualization, while psychologist Clare Graves further proposed that human thinking itself goes through predictable developmental stages. According to Spiral Dynamics, these stages include:

Impulsive — Feelings and actions only, with no pause in between. An example is a young child hitting others.

Self-protective — The world is full of threats; you learn to defend yourself. Children start lying and hiding.

Conformist — Your group’s rules are reality itself. You can’t understand why someone would vote for “that kind of person.”

Self-aware — You realize your inner world doesn’t match your outer appearance. You begin to question.

Responsible — You establish your own principles and strictly adhere to them.

Individualist — You recognize that your principles are shaped by the environment and start thinking flexibly.

Strategist — You apply systems thinking and are aware of your limitations.

Holistic — The separation between self and life dissolves. Work, rest, and entertainment become one.

Most people reading this are between stages 4 and 7. The key is that which stage you’re at determines what kind of future you can see. Someone still in the conformist stage cannot comprehend the worldview of a stage 6 thinker. This is not a cognitive bias but a difference in cognitive capacity itself. Upgrading your mental level is the key to breakthroughs in life.

Level 4: Intelligence Is the Ability to Achieve Goals — Mastering the Three Loops of Cybernetics

If identity is the foundation and mindset is the ceiling, then intelligence is your ability to move within this space.

Cybernetics, originating from Greek meaning “the art of control,” defines three components of highly intelligent systems: having clear goals, acting toward those goals, receiving feedback, and adjusting actions accordingly. A ship blown off course by the wind will automatically correct its heading; a thermostat adjusts based on temperature changes. The more efficient this cycle, the smarter the system.

Applied to life, a sign of low intelligence is repeatedly making mistakes without reflection. Some give up when facing bottlenecks, concluding “this path is not feasible.” High intelligence is understanding that any problem is solvable over a long enough timeline. It’s not about innate talent but willingness to try, receive feedback, and iterate.

And all of this presupposes that you must reject known paths and venture into the unknown. Most people are trapped by preset life scripts—school, work, retirement—never questioning whether this is truly what they want. Truly smart people ask questions, experiment, and learn from failure.

Level 5: Gamify Your Life — From Anti-Vision to a Complete Daily Action Framework

The theory ends here. Now it’s time to integrate all these concepts into a practical system. Psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi discovered that the highest spiritual experience comes from a “flow state”—when challenge and skill are balanced, people enter a state of complete focus.

Games are addictive because they perfectly replicate all elements of flow: clear goals, immediate feedback, adjustable difficulty, and well-defined rules. What if we designed life as a game?

The specific steps are as follows:

Morning — Psychological Excavation (Anti-Vision): Spend 2 hours answering: What dissatisfaction have you learned to tolerate? What are three things you always complain about but never change? If everything remains the same for 5 years, what would an ordinary day in your life look like? The goal of this step is to make you feel deeply uneasy about the current situation—this negative energy fuels change.

Throughout the day — Break Auto-Pilot Mode: Set reminders at random times to ask yourself, “What am I avoiding right now?” “Am I heading toward the life I dislike, or the one I want?” These interruptions will gradually dismantle unconscious behavioral patterns.

Evening — Synthesis and Insight: Integrate all discoveries from the day, and write down three things: a one-sentence summary of a life you absolutely will not accept (anti-vision), a one-sentence summary of the life you’re building (vision MVP), clear goals for one year, one month, and 2-3 key actions each day.

Finally, write all elements on a single sheet: anti-vision, vision, one-year goals, monthly projects, daily leverage points, behavioral constraints. These six components form a concentric force field that shields your mind from interference. Your long-term vision sets the game rules. Your anti-vision is the penalty for failure. Your annual goal is the main task. Your monthly project is a side challenge. Your daily actions are routine tasks.

The more you adhere to this framework, the stronger this force becomes. Soon, it will become your second nature, and you won’t want to change it. Because when you gamify life, pursuing goals is no longer painful self-discipline but an engaging adventure. This is the turning point from “should change” to “can’t imagine not changing.”

Now, re-examine your life—does your identity support your goals? Are your unconscious goals helping or hindering you? Is your mindset level sufficient to grasp the opportunities before you? If the answer is no, then you already know what to do next.